Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Cosmo's "Things in your closet that BAFFLE him!"

so yesterday on my lunch break, i'm checking out COSMOPOLITAN'S style issue (i absolutely love these issues... they only come out twice a year), and there's two pages dedicated to the article "things in your closet that baffle him"... mostly pictures of clothing, so of course it grabs my attention.  i literally almost fell on the floor laughing.

here's what was in it, along with what was written about why it baffles men:

Gladiator Sandals: Gladiators make us think of blood, guts, and sweaty men rolling around together, none of which are turn-ons.
*why this is funny to me: i just bought a pair of the cutest silver gladiator style sandals, and i absolutely adore them!!

Bridesmaid Dresses: We listen to you bitch for months about their eye-melting awfulness.  And yet, there they still are.
*technically i only still have one in my closet, along with my prom dress.  i donated the rest.  but yes, at one point, that was me!

Summer Scarves: Um, its 108 degrees outside.
*i heart scarves.  its the reason i love fall so much, wearing a sweater and scarf.  and now, to my sheer delight, its the fashion to wear light scarves in the summer with tees and tanks!!

Wide Belts:  Were you afraid your hips would get lazy if they didnt have something to hold up?
*lately i've been wearing the skinny belt, but alas, i do have a gorgeous leather black belt from club monaco that i spent about $80 on and is probably 5" wide... and yes, i wear it often.

Velour Sweatsuits: "Low-level Staten Island mob wife, circa 1984" is not the best look for you.
*i dont own velour anymore, but i did, lots of it... white, brown, beige, and pink suits.  now i'm addicted to lululemon.  i'll keep my eye out for this in future cosmo style issues.

Cocktail Rings: So big, so bright, they could land a 747.
*i happen to be waiting for UPS to deliver to me a brand new honking flashy ring as we speak.

High-Waisted Pants: Hi Mom!
*high waisted pants... not yet... i'm wearing a high waisted skirt at this very moment!  and i'm wanting more! of the pencil variety!

Eight Pairs of Black Heels: Do you need one for each night, and then a back-up pair?
*i only own 2 pairs of black heels... plus kitten heels, plus ballet flats, plus plus plus.

Massive Sunglasses:  We know your eyes are sensitive to the sun, but we didnt realize your eyebrows and forehead are too.
*i own four pairs of huge sunglasses.  as a matter of fact, i recently tossed all of my old, non-ginormous shades.

and finally...

Cavernous Purses:  They're ridiculous whether almost empty or stuffed full.
*let me just say this: kudos to those of you who own the lululemon bowling ball bag and dont have it filled to the max.  i've discovered the larger the purse, the more unnecessary items you put in it... why? because you just have room!!!  yes, again, i own several purses that could be mistaken for a weekend bag.

so... after all of this, what have i learned?? that i am in fact a victim of fashion, and I LOVE IT ALL!!

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